JulioBiason.Net

IMDB synopsis:

In Thailand, John Rambo joins a group of mercenaries to venture into war-torn Burma, and rescue a group of Christian aid workers who were kidnapped by the ruthless local infantry unit.

After watching Rocky Balboa, I had great expectations about a new Rambo movie. Not that I’m a fan of the series, but what Sylvester Stallone did to the Rocky series was really amazing, in the sense that it wasn’t a boxing movie; it was something bigger than that. And now you have the story about this soldier, which in the first movie ends crying in his colonel shoulder saying that all he wanted was a plate of food. For those who don’t know, the first movie of the series was highly acclaimed by real solders, ’cause it shown a problem in the US at the time.

The second and third movies were more action movies than telling the story behind soldiers. But, then again, so were the other Rocky movies (more about boxing than the boxer), so I was hoping Sly would do the same with this series.

Too bad, I was wrong.

Although it bases itself in the conflict in Burma, the movie never really touches the people involved in it. All you have is killing and blood and gore. There is no conflicting personalities: the bad guys are bad guys, the good guys are good guys with family and all. Plain, simply, black & white and completely wrong.

Take a look at the bad guy: he is bad. He tells his soldiers to go to villages and take the kids to be his new soldiers. He does not rape women; he sodomizes little boys. His soldiers? They rape women and play games like “walk in the mined placed” with hostages. They are bad, really really bad. But the movie never really touches the fact of why they are bad. Do they hate those people? Are the sadists? The big bad guy is bad because he wants more power or does he have a vision of the unified nation (a la the “bad guy” in “Hero“, no nothing. They are bad, that’s what you need to know.

Also, the good guys are like simply good. Ok, they are troubled, but one fought in some special forces thingy and the other is trying to understand who he is and such (which he simply accept without any struggle or anything.)

Simply put, John Rambo is a movie about war, not the fighters.

It looks like, after trying all the comics, Hollywood decided to turn its eyes to the world of anime. Look this list:

• Akira, produced by Leonardo di Caprio.
• Ghost in the Shell, by Dreamworks.
• Avatar, the last Airbender, directed by M. Night Shyamalans.
• Dragon Ball Z, produced by Fox.
• Speed Racer, by the Wachoski brothers.

Anything missing? Yes. WHERE THE FUCK ARE THE BIG MECHA MOVIES?!?

I hate George Clooney. Really. Every single movie he does make me like him less and less. His acting is not convincing and he doesn’t have facial expressions. Yet, every single critic says he is an awesome actor and that his latest movie, “Michael Clayton”, is so awesome it should get an Oscar. When I saw it, I wanted to pee on Clooney face and burn the theatre down, just to enjoy a little bit of my lost 2 hours in the cinema.

When I was in the plane back to Australia, I saw Ratatoule (or whatever, I don’t care if the name is wrong.) I thought it was unimaginative, boring story about “accept who you are” for kids. You know, the same thing they say in kid movies over and over again. I mean, I’m seeing that message since I was a kid. Yet, critics say that the Academy should reconsider its position about the movie, as it was ranked higher than the “best movie” movies.

Really, critics don’t know movies.

I just saw on /Film that there is a new new Ironman trailer. Now, I know that a lot of people can get worried that they will screw up this one but, so far, the looks are pretty cool. The scene with the tank is a little bit weird, but it is still “cartoonish” enough. I just hope they do a gentle transition between the real life and the cartoon part, so you don’t feel like you suddenly jumped into a CGI animation.

Incível como “Tropa de Elite” faz sucesso aqui no Brasil. Isso é uma das coisas interessantes sobre o filme. A outra coisa interessante é a quantidade de pessoas que realmente não entenderam o filme. A quantidade de piadas usando frases do filme é absurda.

Primeiro tem a Gang (”A loja que te entende”, mas que tem o pior setor de marketing do Brasil) espalhou vários outdoors com coisas do tipo “Em 2008, não espalhe lixo, ou tá com nojinho?” e “Em 2008, não brigue nos estádios ou pede pra sair”. A Claro (ou alguma outra empresa de celulares) saiu com uma propaganda com crianças querendo pegar o Papai Noel; um deles dorme e os outros aparecem dizendo “Pô sentinela, pede pra sair”.

Quantas piadas sairam sobre o filme “Filadélfia”? Nenhuma. Por quê? Porque é um filme sobre conscientização social. Assim como “Tropa de Elite”. Só que as pessoas resolveram ver o filme como piada. Ou seria que a violência no Brasil é piada? A corrupção na polícia é piada?

O filme é um filme crítico. Quantos não viram a crítica àqueles que puxam um baseadinho, dizendo que eles estão apoiando a violência nas favelas? Quantos não viram um pai de família, querendo fazer o certo e sempre com medo de tomar um tiro por aqueles que não se importam? Ou os filhos da classe média-alta com sua visão limitada do que é certo ou errado? Aparentemente, muito poucos.

A list of movies to be released in 2008. My picks?

• Cloverfield/1-18-08. Will watch? Yes
  I saw the trailer. The photography isn’t good, the shaking camera is one of the worst ideas of the century but, for some reason, I’m curious about which monster they are talking about.

• Fanboys. Will watch? No.
  Comedies are good, but another Star Wars movie is too much: the second trilogy was crap and a movie about going after the first of the crappiest trilogy ever.

• Be Kind Rewind. Will watch? YES!
  Jack Black. That’s enough. But the movie is about two guys remaking every blockbuster movie (like Robocop) using a very limited resources.

• Jumper. Will watch? Maybe, probably not.
  The premisse doesn’t sound too bad, but… Hayden Christensen? He makes Keanu Reeves look like Edward Norton or Kevin Spacey. Also, there is a touch of “fairies” in that plot description…

• The Spiderwick Chronicles. Will watch? No
  Fairies? Bleh.

• The Other Boleyn Girl. Will watch? Maybe.
  The premisse is really really weak. But Natalie Portman and Scarlett Johansson in the same movie? Who could resist?

• 10,000 BC. Will watch? No.
  Oh, pre-historic stuff. It is like Jurassic Park, without the cars.

• Horton Hears a Who! Will watch? Maybe.
  I like Jim Carrey and computer generated movies.

• 21. Will watch? No.
  Oceans… something. Without Ocean.

• Wanted. Will watch? Maybe.
  Super-bad people and Angelina Joile. But, even with that, it sounds really weak.

• The Ruins. Will watch? No.
  Bleh. “Something evil lives among the ruins.” Most. Used. Horror. Plot. Ever. Oh, wait. They could make the ruins over a mayan cemetary. That would make it original. NOT!

• Harold & Kumar 2. Will watch? If someone handle me the movie…
  I saw the first one and it was not that funny.

• Repo! The Genetic Opera!. Will watch? NO!
  Paris Hilton. Horror musical. What the fuck those people are smoking these days?

• Iron Man. Will watch? YES!
  Another hero movie. With Robert Downer Jr. But, on the good side, it looks really really good.

• Speed Racer. Will watch? Maybe.
  I never like Speed Racer. The Wachowski brothers (well, brother and sister now) still need to do something they know how to do good stuff after the second and third Matrix. On the other hand, there are a lot people saying that the special effects are ground breaking again (like they did with the bullet time in the first Matrix).

• The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian. Will watch? Definitely not.
  The first movie was kinda good, but the screwed it so bad in the end that I’m not inclined to see anything from this series.

• Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. Will watch? Yes.
  Oh, come on! You too want to see if Harrison Ford still can play Indiana. Shia LaBeouf is the downside of the movie, though.

• Forgetting Sarah Marshall. Will watch? Maybe not.
  Heartbreak comedies. I guess they will reunite in the end.

• Righteous Kill. Will watch? Probably yes.
  Al Pacino and Robert De Niro. Playing cops. Something must go terrible wrong to make the movie suck.

• Choke. Will watch? No.
  A sex addict who sues restaurants by faking he is choking. Not good.

• The Lovely Bones. Will watch? Yes.
  One of my friends said very good things about the book. And Peter Jackson is the director.

• The Happening. Will watch? Maybe yes.
  Shyamalan sometimes does good movies. But sometimes he does “Signs”.

• The Incredible Hulk. Will watch? Yes!
  Edward Norton as the Hulk. Written by Edward Norton. If he followed the original series, I guess it would be really good.

• Get Smart. Will watch? No.
  Steve Carell is not funny. Steve Carell is not charismatic. The guy should never left SNL. And I guess Mel Brooks is not envolved. So it will, basically, suck donkey balls.

• The Love Guru. Will watch? Maybe.
  I’m a fan of Mike Myers since “Wayne’s World”, even after “The Cat In The Hat”. The “Hitch” plot sound really weak, though.

• Wall-E. Will watch? Probably yes.
  Robots? I like robots.

• Valkyrie. Will watch? Probably not.
  Tom Cruise and nazis. Oops, Goodwin’s law.

• Hancock. Will watch? Maybe yes.
  Super heroes and Charlize Theron. It can be that bad.

• Hellboy 2: The Golden Army. Will watch? No.
  The first one wasn’t enough to make me watch it, why should I watch the second?

• The Dark Knight. Will watch? YES!
  Batman for grown ups. Cool.

• Step Brothers. Will watch? No.
  Will Ferrel is not funny. Will Ferrel is not charismatic. The guy should never left SNL.

• Pineapple Express. Will watch? No.
  Another silly comedy.

• The International. Will watch? Don’t know.
  Plot is too short. Need more info.

• Trash. Will watch? Don’t know.
  No cast yet. Saying the it should be a movie like “Monty Python and the Holy Grail” is good, but connect it to horror movies? That doesn’t make any sense, except going after a Panic something.

• Where the Wild Things Are. Will watch? No.
  Sounds like fairies movie.

• How to Lose Friends & Alienate People. Will watch? Probably not.
  The plot sounds too weak.

• Eagle Eye. Will watch? No.
  The plot is stupidly confusing, to the point that it doesn’t make sense anymore. And they have Shia LaBeouf.

• The Time Traveler’s Wife. Will watch? Probably not.
  “The Time Machine” meets romantic comedy. Not good.

• James Bond 22. Will watch? No.
  Daniel Craig is not James Bond.

• The Changeling. Will watch? Maybe yes.
  Clint Eastwood directs a weird plot.

• Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. Will watch? No.
  I don’t watch Harry Potter movies.

• The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. Will watch? Yes.
  The plot is really interesting.

• The Day the Earth Stood Still. Will watch? Maybe yes.
  It is a remake. Of a good movie. But it has Keany Reeves.

• Angels & Demons. Will watch? No.
  I don’t know, I don’t feel compelled to watch any movie from the Da Vinci books.

• Star Trek. Will watch? YES!
  I’m a trekkie. I can’t control this kind of stuff. I MUST WATCH. IT IS STAR TREK!

• Adventureland. Will watch? No.
  The plot is not good enough for a comedy.

• Australia. Will watch? No.
  Woman has a big place. Mean men want the place. Loner shows up and helps woman. They face bad times. In the end, the get together.

• The Box. Will watch? No.
  Horror movies and not funny.

• Brüno: Delicious Journeys Through America for the Purpose of Making Heterosexual Males Visibly Uncomfortable in the Presence of a Gay Foreigner in a Mesh T-Shirt. Will watch? No.
  Sacha Baron Cohen is disgusting.

• The Fighter. Will watch? Maybe yes.
  Rocky Balboa + Cinderella Man. But I like Walberg.

• Frost/Nixon. Will watch? No.
  I don’t think American story is that amusing.

• Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist, Will watch? No.
  Yet another romantic comedy.

• RocknRolla. Will watch? Probably no.
  The only good thing about the movie is Guy Ritchie. And I’m too sure about that.

• Shantaram. Will watch? No.
  Another too weird plot.

• Zack and Miri Make a Porno. Probably yes.
  Boogie Nights, directed by Kevin Smith. May be good.

Transformers, Thundercats, Miami-Vice and… Knight Rider.

Let’s just hope they won’t do the same shit they did in 1991. Let’s hope it is something like “Knight Rider Begins”…

When I read DeSanto Develops Heroes Film my first thought was “Oh, you mean The Series? After just one season? Remarkable!”. Then I read the text and saw that it is based on the City of Heroes game.

Now we all know that there is not a single game-to-silver-screen conversion that worked (”Mortal Kombat”? “Tomb Raider”?) but look at the premise of City of Heroes: a city with several heroes, with several different powers. There is no way to screw with this. And, if DeSantos manage to screw it, the guy surely deserves an award for it.

After seeing so much “revival” in the silver screen (hey! Transformers is just around the corner), I thought “You know, somewhere we’ll see a live action ‘Thundercats’”. Well, I guess someone took that seriously.

Sunday afternoon movie? They still do it?

IMDB Plot:

A group of suburban biker wannabes looking for adventure hit the open road, but get more than they bargained for when they encounter a New Mexico gang called the Del Fuegos.

You know, I really thought those “ok funny” comedies died a long time ago. And by “ok funny” I mean those comedies with some near impossible plot, not so funny, which do the minimum to be called “comedy”. Not that they are bad, anyway.

I must say that the main casting was half well chosen. Tim Allen can make something look funny even when he looks serious; Martim Lawrence also is not bad. Now William Macy still doing the same old “geek” persona is getting so tired is not even funny anymore. And, on the top of the worst, we have John Travolta. His acting seems to be going down the drain for a long time already but, on this movie, it goes deep down. You can believe Tim Allen character doing the things he does in real life, same for Lawrence and, in a certain point, to Macy. But Travolta is the thing that you can’t even believe it is a person. Even his persona is impossible to exist in the movie.

The story is a little bit dull but, as I pointed before, it is a “ok funny” comedy. And, for a comedy, it is pretty good: middle age men decide to run around the country trying to “find themselves again”. And that’s all. You can come with a lot of troubles those guys manage to get when running around in their bikes.

As any “sunday afternoon comedy”, it is a good comedy for a lazy sunday afternoon…